Winter Retreat Reflections

I wanted to share some reflections from the winter retreat with you.

Our speaker for the weekend was Chap Clark—a seasoned youth worker, author, professor and speaker who has been on the cutting edge of ministry to teenagers for two decades. He did a masterful job of making Jesus come alive to the kids and bringing him into their world. Here are some themes that he dealt with throughout the weekend, many of which we had an opportunity to talk about in our cabins, over meals and as a group before we left:

It’s hard to be a teenager

Today’s teens live with an enormous set of pressures to perform and conform. From a very young age kids are taught that their security and worth are dependent on their accomplishments and the opinions of others. Kids rarely experience unconditional love and acceptance. Because acceptance and worth are conditional, kids spend an enormous amount of time and energy performing for others, doing what it takes to fit in and wearing the mask that is the “safest” in any given situation. Even kids who, on the outside, appear to have it all together, are, more often than not, anxious, hurting and crumbling on the inside.

Fortunately, Jesus loves kids unconditionally, and has a track record for touching the untouchable, loving the unlovable and forgiving the slimiest of sinners. When we experience God’s grace and acceptance, his salvation flows through our lives and sets us free to be who we were created to be, without fear of rejection.

Few of us live by our God-given passions

Closely connected to the previous theme is the idea that worry, fear and pressures to perform and conform have put a strangle hold on kids’ passions. Many students do all they can to simply survive their adolescents. There is little to no time or energy left for exploring the deeper desires in their souls. Worse still, many young people have given up hope that their ultimate dreams and desires could ever be fulfilled—and so they dapple in lesser dreams.

When we come face to face with Jesus, however, we come face to face with the fulfillment of our deepest desires. As we realize and embrace the object of our soul’s thirst, God frees us to live life from the inside-out, authentically, freely and passionately.

God doesn’t cause our suffering, but He does suffer with us

A common but debilitating misunderstanding among Christians is the idea that God tests us to teach us a lesson or two. He fills our lives with suffering, trials and misery so that we can get over ourselves and become more like Jesus. This belief is so close to the truth that it’s particularly dangerous. The reality is, God doesn’t cause trials and sufferings, even though He permits them. And He doesn’t sit back and watch us struggle and see if we’ll come out stronger—He enters into our pain and storms and suffers with us. God doesn’t cause the storms, and He doesn’t take them away. He comes alongside of us when we’re in the midst of them and he provides the care and grace we need to make it through them.

Chap Clark’s effectiveness this weekend came from the fact that 1) he understands the world in which teenagers live and 2) he understands the world of the biblical text. Throughout the weekend he stood as a bridge between two worlds—helping students to see and understand that Jesus is the person they are craving and seeking, and that He alone can enter into and transform the brokenness that they are experiencing.

Why do I share this with you? Because my hope and prayer is that the Body of Christ can surround our teenagers with healing love of Christ. How do we do that?

We begin by beign committed to reaching behind the exterior of today's young people to understand the deeper cries of their hearts, and the layers of anxiety, fear and brokenness that they hide. We need to patiently and gently come alongside of them and say, “I know everything is not alright, and that’s okay. You don’t have to pretend any more.” We need to be willing to listen long and hard, suspend judgment and, over time, help kids to understand that the church is a safe place.

We continue by praying for God to sensitize us to the pressures kids face to perform and conform. We need to search our hearts and lives and see if we (as individuals, as ministry leaders, as groups and societies, etc.) are guilty of placing a performance agenda on our kids, and giving them the impression that we love them conditionally.

We need to be real about our own brokenness and need for Christ, and be transparent about our weaknesses, struggles and faith. We need to help young people see Christ for who he is by living lives characterized by freedom, passion and joy in His presence--not bondage, fear, addiction and listlessness.

A little over a year ago I had an opportunity to hear a Christian sociologist talk about the current state of teen spirituality in America. His refrain throughout the day, with regard to how our kids will turn out spiritually, was, “we’ll get who we are.”

May God’s love and grace flow through you and make your life into a beautiful reflection of Himself—in the presence of our young people.

--Pastor Bill