What I Learned from Hosting Two Punk Concerts

Youth culture is a moving target. A mere seven years removed from my own teenage experience, I find myself struggling to keep my hand on the pulse of today's student population. I cringe when I hear older people say to teenagers, "You know, it wasn't all that different in my day." Well, it was different in my day, and that wasn't that long ago. Two recent experiences have given me a unique window into today's youth culture. My church and I hosted two punk concerts in our fellowship hall. Local bands played to over 400 students between the two events--mostly Northbridge High School students. Here's what I learned.

No Safe Places
A constant refrain I hear from high students in Northbridge is, "There are no places to hang out. We get shoed away all the time." Kids are looking for come-as-you-are community, free of adults who fear them or try to police them. They crave safe places where they can be themselves, and where there are no built-in agendas. If you have money, or only a few friends, a nice house and permissible parents--you may be okay. But the students I know in Northbridge like traveling in clusters, meeting up with crowds, and enjoying free, hospitable space. They aren't finding it. That is why, at both concerts, dozens of kids came up to me and said, "Thanks so much for letting us do this. No one else would." Kids need space to build community, be themselves, celebrate (something other than drinking and getting laid), and showcase their gifts and talents. And they're craving it, but they don't know where to find it.

Few Adults who Care
A team of adults from my church joined me in serving the band members dinner and helping them unload their gear and set up. Others welcomed kids at the doors, learned their names and kick-started conversations. I had a team of women cook enough desserts to give away all night long and never run out. Some of the kids looked at me with suspicion, wondering what strings were attached. I saw one kid stare at the "Free Desserts" sign and then ask, "so, how much are they really?" While helping a drummer tear down his kit, he said to me, "We've never been treated like this before. It's nice to know somebody cares." Some youth culture watchers have called this the HURT generation because they have been systemically abandoned by an adult world too consumed with its own problems to truly care for and nurture the younger generations. Almost every day, one, two or ten kids (who do not attend my church, or any church for that matter) knock on my office door, hoping I'll be there to listen to them. Today's teenagers are desperate for an adult who cares. And every teen, no matter how jilted and jaded, will always go to the oldest person they can find who truly understands and respects them.

In Need of Catharsis
The HURT generation is in need of a catharsis--an emotional release that will help them make sense of their pain. That's what Punk music is. It's loud. It's emotional. It's angry. Most of the lyrics are screamed—sometimes with such raw intensity as to sound superficially demonic. It's not. It's just raw frustration and anger, bubbling up from a very real well of pain. The dancing that accompanies punk rock (moshing) is equally cathartic. Limbs kick and pump, like an anarchic boxing match with the air. Faces intensify and muscles brace. Rage has found an outlet.

Respect
Many of my concert helpers didn't quite know how to react to the "moshers" at first. "They're going to punch each other's lights out! We need to stop this!" But that never happened. Instead, respect permeated the mosh pit; body parts kept to themselves, and non-participating bystanders were protected. Because there is no stage in our fellowship hall, the bands played from the floor. At various times during both concerts, the crowd formed a "huddle" around the bands. Singers shared their mics with the crowds and nearly everyone sang--in lock step with each other. It was a picture of solidarity not unlike a candlelight vigil. Forced into the "world beneath" by a culture hostile to crowds of teens, these students became each other's family, each other's church, for those two nights.

Authenticity
Of the 14 bands that played the two concerts, only one was rejected by their peers. A group of kids from the Cape, whose mothers looked on from a darkened corner, tried to make angry music. No one bought it. The crowd scattered. The HURT generation is very forgiving of its peers, but one value cannot be compromised: you must be authentic. These boys, who incidentally looked like their mothers dressed them, were clearly not screaming from the pit of their own authentic pain--and everyone saw right through it. I call it the gift of "crap-detection." They can smell inauthenticity a mile away.

So that's what I learned. Listening to eight hours of punk rock was a small price to pay for the lessons I took home. For the sake of the HURT generation, I'll keep listening.

Winter Retreat Reflections

I wanted to share some reflections from the winter retreat with you.

Our speaker for the weekend was Chap Clark—a seasoned youth worker, author, professor and speaker who has been on the cutting edge of ministry to teenagers for two decades. He did a masterful job of making Jesus come alive to the kids and bringing him into their world. Here are some themes that he dealt with throughout the weekend, many of which we had an opportunity to talk about in our cabins, over meals and as a group before we left:

It’s hard to be a teenager

Today’s teens live with an enormous set of pressures to perform and conform. From a very young age kids are taught that their security and worth are dependent on their accomplishments and the opinions of others. Kids rarely experience unconditional love and acceptance. Because acceptance and worth are conditional, kids spend an enormous amount of time and energy performing for others, doing what it takes to fit in and wearing the mask that is the “safest” in any given situation. Even kids who, on the outside, appear to have it all together, are, more often than not, anxious, hurting and crumbling on the inside.

Fortunately, Jesus loves kids unconditionally, and has a track record for touching the untouchable, loving the unlovable and forgiving the slimiest of sinners. When we experience God’s grace and acceptance, his salvation flows through our lives and sets us free to be who we were created to be, without fear of rejection.

Few of us live by our God-given passions

Closely connected to the previous theme is the idea that worry, fear and pressures to perform and conform have put a strangle hold on kids’ passions. Many students do all they can to simply survive their adolescents. There is little to no time or energy left for exploring the deeper desires in their souls. Worse still, many young people have given up hope that their ultimate dreams and desires could ever be fulfilled—and so they dapple in lesser dreams.

When we come face to face with Jesus, however, we come face to face with the fulfillment of our deepest desires. As we realize and embrace the object of our soul’s thirst, God frees us to live life from the inside-out, authentically, freely and passionately.

God doesn’t cause our suffering, but He does suffer with us

A common but debilitating misunderstanding among Christians is the idea that God tests us to teach us a lesson or two. He fills our lives with suffering, trials and misery so that we can get over ourselves and become more like Jesus. This belief is so close to the truth that it’s particularly dangerous. The reality is, God doesn’t cause trials and sufferings, even though He permits them. And He doesn’t sit back and watch us struggle and see if we’ll come out stronger—He enters into our pain and storms and suffers with us. God doesn’t cause the storms, and He doesn’t take them away. He comes alongside of us when we’re in the midst of them and he provides the care and grace we need to make it through them.

Chap Clark’s effectiveness this weekend came from the fact that 1) he understands the world in which teenagers live and 2) he understands the world of the biblical text. Throughout the weekend he stood as a bridge between two worlds—helping students to see and understand that Jesus is the person they are craving and seeking, and that He alone can enter into and transform the brokenness that they are experiencing.

Why do I share this with you? Because my hope and prayer is that the Body of Christ can surround our teenagers with healing love of Christ. How do we do that?

We begin by beign committed to reaching behind the exterior of today's young people to understand the deeper cries of their hearts, and the layers of anxiety, fear and brokenness that they hide. We need to patiently and gently come alongside of them and say, “I know everything is not alright, and that’s okay. You don’t have to pretend any more.” We need to be willing to listen long and hard, suspend judgment and, over time, help kids to understand that the church is a safe place.

We continue by praying for God to sensitize us to the pressures kids face to perform and conform. We need to search our hearts and lives and see if we (as individuals, as ministry leaders, as groups and societies, etc.) are guilty of placing a performance agenda on our kids, and giving them the impression that we love them conditionally.

We need to be real about our own brokenness and need for Christ, and be transparent about our weaknesses, struggles and faith. We need to help young people see Christ for who he is by living lives characterized by freedom, passion and joy in His presence--not bondage, fear, addiction and listlessness.

A little over a year ago I had an opportunity to hear a Christian sociologist talk about the current state of teen spirituality in America. His refrain throughout the day, with regard to how our kids will turn out spiritually, was, “we’ll get who we are.”

May God’s love and grace flow through you and make your life into a beautiful reflection of Himself—in the presence of our young people.

--Pastor Bill